FISH OF THE WEEK - Bluefin Trevally

These fellows were living up to their reputation for hunting in small groups, particularly in the early morning or late afternoon. Looking for a tasty shoal of blue fusiliers if I am not mistaken, some of which co-incidentlaly had swam past a couple of minutes earlier.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Orange-Striped Triggerfish

Supposedly a common coral dweller in the Red Sea but this was the first one I have seen in eighty odd dives. The absence of strips across the snout indicates this chap is in fact a chap.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Napoleon Wrasse

This chap has manged to stay clear of Japanese Restaurants where sadly Napoleon Wrasse is fast becoming a delicacy. Recently ranked among the top ten most endangered species in the world, I hope you share my preference to see these magnificent creatures gracing our tropical reefs.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Bannerfish

This chap was not schooling with his mates on Ras Katy but spotted somewhere else. I think his partner had popped over the reef edge out of view when this piccy was taken. Obviously this one is the male, being up for some free internet exposure.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Long Nosed Hawkfish

This little beauty is often the subject of award winning underwater photgrpahs. Well I doubt this one will win anything but he was spotted by an eagle eyed FOTW photgrapher resting up on this Gorgonian Fan coral on Woodhouse Reef. Yep, you guested it, one of the Tiran reefs in the Rea Sea. They are well worth a visit.

Thanks of the week

Once again FOTW has nice things to say about Emperor Divers. FOTW newcomer, Hilary, who successfully came through the open water training in Sharm with Emperor Divers has e-mailed FOTW to say....

"I would like to thank Bryan, Sonia and Steve at Emperor Divers for their patience and support in teaching me to dive and Matt, Helen, Martin, Fiona and Kiera for their good company in and out of the water and of course my buddy Rick. Finally, not least, the cleaner wrasse who cleaned my ears. "

I didn't know that Emperor had cleaner wrasses on the payroll. Nice idea for the all round diver experience. If there is any one from Leeds International Swimming Pool out there, perhaps its an idea you might consider!

FISH OF THE WEEK - Blue Fusiliers

Always spectacular, but hugh shoals of fast swimming Blue Fusiliers breaking both sides of you is magical. Again this photograph was taken on Jackson Reef in the Tiran straights.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Masked Butterflyfish

At last, what you have all been waiting for.....Fish. These two masked butterflyfish were photographed by FOTW on Jackson Reef, in the Tiran straights in the Red sea. For those of you who are not familiar with the Tiran reefs, Jackson is one of four reefs. It boasts a top top coral garden. Its the sort of place where you could dive all day and not get bored. Mr, I want to retire there. Enjoy.

FOTW T-Shirt makes a ideal Christmas present!

You too can own an FOTW logo T- shirt .... made of poor quality cotton, available in all sizes (but guaranteed to shrink to XS) and all colours ( so long as you want white) .... order now by email!

FISH - the search goes on .....

Ever dedicated to their search for quality fish a crack team FOTW divers demonstrate that they will go to any lengths to get the pics that have made this site a legend on in our own lunch times.

Just look at at 'hey. look at me being cool upside down ! ' technique from buoyancy guru Dr. Tone!

Results of their efforts in the Red Sea follow soon .. did they find any fish or had they just dropped a tenner?

FISH OF THE WEEK - Bat fish

This one was sent in by someone, whose name I have misplaced. Sorry for that, but thanks for the excellent photo. I remember, it was Bruce Wayne.I understand that along with the Bat Mobile, the Bat Copter and Robin, the Bat Fish features in the forthcoming Batman movie, "Scuba-Bat". In synopsis, The Penguin, having failed previosuly to rule Gotham City on land, returns to his natural underwater environment and begins terrorising the City of Atlantis. Unbeknown to The Penguin, Batman has recently recruited a new crime fighting pal (Robin has been rendered useless following a gential crushing injury resulting from shrinkage of his green underpants following his first attemtp to pursue The Penguin underwater). The Penguin eventually meets his end when Bat Fish catches up with h im following a tense und erwater DPV chase.Of course in the movie, Bat Fish wears a mask to conceal his real fish identiy. Its another must see underwater Hollywood blockbuster. Unlike recently released 'Into the Blue', this is a family movie, so no skimply dressed nipple bound heros here. Sorry Jessica (Alba), no self-respecting diver would jump in without a wet suit.

WORM OF THE WEEK - Indian Tubeworm

For some time now I have been wondering what this critter was called. Well, during a pre-FOTW scuba trip reef guide swotting sessions I came across Sabellastarte Indica. By the way, the cats dead!

Fish of the Week - defies terrorism!

It's now only just over a week until the crack team of FOTW photgraphers, editorial staff, designers and trainees head off to Sharm and the Red Sea.

Watch out for up to date special features and photos from Tone (and all the usual irrelevant crap Pete writes) when we get back.

In Sharm we recomnend the Sinai Star fish restaurant in old Sharm Market, rather predictably the roof of the Camel Bar and definitely not buying anything that resembles a carpet or is made out of papyrus. Oh and we intend to go diving a bit and we love Emperor Divers so much we gave them all our money!

SQUID OF THE WEEK

Thanks to FOTW regular Hilary who sent this one in. No doubt this photo is doing the electronic rounds. Apparently its a photograph of the dead giant squid recently discovered. Is there any one out there who can furnish us with more information?.
And no more comments about Richard Whiteley look-a-likes please.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Masked Puffer fish

Having alienated many of our Countdown enthusiast FOTW regulars, perhaps another fish offering is in order. A humble Puffer fish, unpuffed.

Seafood Week - Latest 'news'

Carol Vorderman 'counts down' to Seafood Week

TV brain box Carl Vorderman has been named as the new face of Seafood Week. Her healthy outlook and and busy lifestyle, Carol is the perfect figure to highlight Britain's largest celebration of seafood.

'' Fish is an important part of a varied diet and i eat seafood twice a week most of the year. It is astonishingly quick and easy to cook and withe choice available, people can never get bored'' she says (in the most cringe making press release ever published).

Her favorite fish is Seabass but she also likes Tuna, Haddock, Dover Sole, Squid and Sushi.

REJOICE! IT'S SEAFOOD WEEK

Regular FOTW correspondent Mr. Tim Mallender contacted to let us know that next week is Seafood Week. This reminded us of the an old but rather good joke ...

'' I'm on a seafood diet ... when i see food i eat it'

More on seafood week, an FOTW fish recipe and gratuitious picture of Carol Vorderman follows soon.

Overlooked Fish of the Week

STONE LOACH

With our emphasis on the large, menacing and/or tropical it is easy to overlook some of the unsung heroes of the fish world so today we at FOTW celebrate the humble but rather fetching Stone Loach.

The Stone Loach spends most of time hanging on to rocks in the few unpolluted streams and rivers throughout the British Isles (except northern Scotland). This charming and bizarre fish with well developed barbels is a bottom dweller which grows to a maximum size of 10 cms. Dr. A Scientist PhD, a regular visitor to our site will instantly recognise it as Nemacheilus Barbatus.

Thanks to Tom Fisher of Welney for drawing this to our attention. FOTW contributors may wish to nominate their unsung fishy hero in the usual way.

(Menacing) FISH OF THE WEEK - A bunch of barracuda

Continuing on the scary fish theme for a little longer, these menacing fish were seen hanging around off the Tiran reefs eying up the divers.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Lion Fish

This sleepy soul was spotted under a coral ledge during a drift dive along Far Garden, a local reef near Sharm.

SEAL OF THE WEEK

Submitted by FOTW regular Adam who reports he has... "Just got back from swimming with these beauties off the Pembrokeshire coast. Vis wasn't that great (the skipper on the boat reckoned it was Katrina's fault), but these guys were still curious enough to swim around us for a while and nibble our fins.

Thanks for the fish err seal, Adam. Nice picture. Even so , its further evidence that its much more pleasant in the Red Sea.

FISH (out of water) OF THE WEEK

President Bush making political gains (I dont think so) on one of his recent visits to New Orleans. You would have thought he would have more important things on his mind.

Thanks to Richard Caulfield who sent this picture to FOTW.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Red Sea Anemonefish

This fish and his anemone was taken at 21 metres on White Knight reef. a local reef at Sharm.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Mystery Fish

These little chaps are regularly seen sitting on coral heads in the Red Sea even though they do not appear in my Red Sea reef guide. Any one got any clues as to this fish's name...and before any of you reply, no wise cracks, I know this one is called Bob.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Blackspotted Sweetlips

How about this blackspotted sweetlips. Isn't he cute, but remember a fish is not just for Christmas...

SLUG OF THE WEEK

Thought we would post a slug today. This wee beasty was shot with a shutter speed of 1000th second in order to freeze the action as he (or she, are there any slug sexers out there who could advise) shot across a sandy reach.

FISH Olympics by Ray Mullet

Got browsing this lunch time and came across this fun site, obviously a fellow FISH enthusiast.

http://www.diduknow.info/fish/index.html

Test you knowledge, I got three Gold medals and a Silver. Can you do better ?

Tommy Cooper - comic genius?

This classic from Tommy Cooper arrived by email at the FOTW virtual office this week:

Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. A FSH

Geddit ....

Fish has injured knee!

Former Charlton and South Africa defender is to retire after a long standing knee injury. Mark Fish played 62 times for his country and was part of the South African side that won the African Nations Cup in 1996 and competed in the 1998 World Cup. he played over 200 times in the Premiership for Bolton Wanderers and Charlton.

We at fish of the week wonder if the 'long-standing knee injury' would have got better if he hadn't stood for so long ..... Next week Billy the Fish makes his debut for FOTWFC

FISH OF THE WEEK - Red Sea Grouper and Pal

These two friendly cross-shoaling fish did a swim past whilst I was floating around in some warm tropical pond recently. Typically, they were past before I ripped off a CMOS exposure. Yet another picture of a fishes rear end for the collection.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Smooth Trunkfish

This chappy was spotted whilst snorkelling on White Rocks Reef in the Florida Keys.

Dolphin Paintings - the latest in abstract art!

Water colour paintings by dolphins have sold for £200 each in a new exhibition at a Lithuanian aquarium.

Staff at the aquarium put the paintings on sale after works by a British chimp called Congo raised thousands at an auction held by Bonhams in London last month. The 'artists', mother and daughter are bottle-nosed dolphins who have enjoyed painting for years. They brandish brush in their teeth as the trainer holds the palette and paper in the shallow end of their pool. Trainers say they choose the colours and stop work when they are satisfied with the outcome. Rather conveniently to our mind they particularly like the colours of the Lithunian flag and the work and critics have compared their work to British artist Howard Hodgkin

Brain Sewell, well known British critic (and media rent-a-gob on all matters artistic) said that the paintings were " unconscous, uncontrolled and the silly sort of thing fit only for the Esther Rantzens of this world". He added "There are idiots who are prepared to be gulled into paying quite extraordinary sums of money for these things. All I can say is a fool and his money are easily parted."

The exhibition organiser said "Experts say that dolphins do have natural artistic spirit - they respond to music and it now seems that painting can be added to their artistic qualifications"

FOTW media correspondent phoned the gallery for acomment but got a recorded message saying that "they couldn't take our call right now and that it may be recorded for training porpoises".

As usual FOTW welcomes your comments. What has Brian Sewell got against Esther Rantzen?

'CARP' FISH JOKE

Q. What do you get if you cross two elephants and a fish?
A. A pair of swimming trunks!

Thanks Christine!

(Human) FISH OF THE WEEK

The one on the right giving me the internationally recognised underwater sign for 'Here is some advice about sex and travel' is of course Pete of www.fishoftheweek.com. Being Z list semi-celebrities, we at fish of the week are used to being stalked underwater by groupies (not Groupers) trying to bask for a few precious seconds in our reflected glory. Does anyone know the deluded sould dying to get his picture taken with Pete is ?

FISH OF THE WEEK - Blue Fusiliers

This photo taken at site called Steve's Bommie on the Great Barrier Reef earlier this year.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Scrawled Cowfish

This chap was seen on White Rocks Reef in John Pennecamp National Park in Florida recently

Cod of the Week

Its called a Barramundi Cod. It's small, about the size of a plate and its spotty and its been posted because its about time we had some proper fish.

Which is strange because it isn't a cod at all and shouldn't be confused with the Barramundi served in Australian chip shops which is a different beast altogether.

(Smoked) FISH OF THE WEEK

After a recent request for recipes from a Mr. K. Floyd we have turned our razor sharp FOTW minds to matters culinary. So here, direct from FOTW international contributor Janette Gerards, from the small Dutch town of Harderwijk (pronounced ardervick) is one of our favorite fishy treats, smoked eel. This photo was take on 'Eel Day' which takes place at the beginning of June and is a cause for a major civic celebration second only in importance to Herring Day.

Those crazy Dutch certainly know how to celebrate their fish ! Dank U Well Janette

(MAGNIFIED) FISH OF THE WEEK - White Spotted Moray

You are now going to have to believe me, a magnificent White Spotted Moray.

FISH(ES) OF THE WEEK - Waterloo Lake, Roundhay

Thanks Cathy for your photo of the shoal of little fish seen swarming round the edge of Waterloo Lake (the large lake) in Roundhay Park.. I for one was fairly surprised to learn that fish could actually survive in Waterloo Lake. I suppose we must give a round of thanks to Leeds City Council, Parks and Cemetery's Department for their efforts. As to your question, what type of fish are they? Well perhaps Pete of FOTW is more in a position to answer that one. As an ex-junior British Pike Fishing Champion (1979) he should know his coarse fish.......

ONE FOR THE KIDDIES - aaaaah Cute

This taken on the Great Barrier Reef in March o5 .

FOTW freely admits that we didn't take this! So a big FOTW thanks to Jules of Scuabpix (www.scubapix.com ) who took this whilst diving on board Taka (www.taka.com.au/) . If you ever happen to be in Cairns we strongly recommend you pay them both a visit. Taka is a fantastic boat, with a great crew and just the best food!

Jules if you see this send us a picture!

Moray Walker with one of our FOTW regulars

Following comments about FOTW becoming Moray of the Week, one more moray contribution before I stop.
Moray Walker, twin brother of the more famous Murray Walker, renowned F1 commentator and expert, was spotted by one of FOTW’s regular fish contributors (see posting dated 25th May 2005).
Unlike many of our other fish contributions, Moray was spotted on the Mediterranean (as against in it) during the recent Monaco Grand Prix, on a swanky all expenses paid, executive beano. Hey, Sharpy what were the fish and chips like in Monaco? I bet they do not serve scraps and mushy peas there either…..

Plug of the Week

A quick www.fishoftheweek.com mention for our favorite dive operator Emperor Divers. The Fish of the Week team will be taking their shorts and cameras to Sharm el Sheikh later this year, we are about to book and we thought we'd see if we could give them a plug and get a discount.

The fish is an Emperor Angelfish ( pomacanthus imperator).

FISH OF THE WEEK - Spotted Moray (Cropped)

Following comments about the first posting of this picture here is a slightly bigger version.

FISH - an inspiration to 'musicians' everywhere

Further to the post about fish related songs a quick search of itunes music store reveals 53 songs with the word 'fish' in the title ... 26 of these are actually just called (the) fish with contributions from legends such as The Damned, Steve Hillage and a band called 'Left over Salmon' .

Other top 'www.fishoftheweek.com' favorites include 'Swimmy the Fish' by Miss Annie, 'Penis Fish' by Eric Idle, Fish Wrench from the album Rippopotamus by Ratbelly v. Gorgotron.

Our absolute favorite though is .... 'Yodel for Fish' by Wayne Potash so move over Dean Martin this is too good for you and 'Yodel for Fish' is our Fish (Song) of the Week.

Frankly you couldn't make it up ...and we haven't !

Fish (Song) of the Week

Given recent comments by 'anonymous' about the over preponderance of Moray Eels on this site I thought that the contribution of Dean Martin to the Diver's Songbook ( available at Amazon.com) shouldn't go unrecognised as many will still remember his classic rat pack tune 'That's Amore'. Think about it divers!

Any more suggestions for diving's greatest hits are welcome ....

FISH OF THE WEEK - Yellow Fin Grouper

I suspect this inquisitive Yellowfin Grouper approach me looking for a cheap meal. Photo taken on the City of Washington Wreck - Florida Keys

FISH OF THE WEEK - Squirrel Fish

A shy little Squirel Fish. This one was hiding out on the wreck of the Benwood - Florida Keys

FISH OF THE WEEK - Green Moray

Green Moray - Firewood Reef, Florida Keys (Halfway between the Benwood and French Reef, otherwise known as Capt Darryls Lobster Hole)

FISH OF THE WEEK

Clam Gardens - Great Barrier Reef

This is one of many dozens of huge clams to be found at the 'Clam Gardens' dive site on the Great Barrier Reef . This specimen was about 80 cms long and a vivid blue.

MORE RUBBISH FISH JOKES

These frankly rubbish jokes were submitted by 'fish lover' Chris Sharp over a week ago. Following a series of tense editorial meetings and a thorough review of our joke policy we at FOTW have decided to publish these jokes in the 'public interest'. We are interested in whether the public, yes you think they are as bad as we think they are.

Please let us know at FOTW what you think and for god's sake send us something, anything better than this rubbish. Please .......

Q.Why are fish so clever?
A.They live in schools

Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the concrete wall
A. DAM!

Q. What do you call a female fisherman (sic)
A. Annette

(MICHAEL) FISH OF THE WEEK

Many thanks to 'Bob' at Trinity and All Saints College.Leeds for suggesting Britain's longest serving weather forecaster Michael Fish for 'Fish of the Week' . Bob said 'This is a fish I have admired for years now. It was a shame when he retired. There was no glamour, just honest, accurate weather forecasts'. Well Bob you seem to have forgotten that he failed to spot the hurricane that devastated property and woodland across vast swathes of southern Engalnd in 1987. Neverthless for 32 years service to the nation he is (Michael) Fish of the Week.

FISH OF THE WEEK - Gray Angel fish

Gray Angelfish - French Reef, Florida Keys

Great British Fish

Fish and Chips

This beauty spotted by Chris Sharp on his desk today. This definitely the species found in the south of England as 'scraps'and t'mushy peas found with northern examples are nowhere to be seen. If you don't know what scraps are then you are southern shandy drinker.

Porcupine Fish

A friendly Porcupine Fish - White Bank Reef, Florida Keys

Small Mouth Grunts Galore

This hugh shoal of Small Mouth Grunts was photgraphed on Mollases Reef - Florida Keys

FISH JOKE OF THE WEEK

Q. Can you name three fish that begin with K?

A. Kipper, Killer Whale and Kilmarnock; it's a plaice in Scotland

Hairy Angler

Many thanks to Diver Nicola Dean for this truly wierd fish of the week, a Hairy Angler Fish